My sweet Landon

I have had a few thoughts I want to share about my two and a half year old Landon. Landon is full of energy and at times he can be difficult to find peace around. He has a good nature about him but he has a knack for destructive encounters with things. I have had a hard time the past several weeks when I think of how to govern his behavior and make him more disciplined. Anissa shared a great video with me that helped me realize that this is only a phase and that one day I will look back and treasure this time and wish with all my heart for the painfully ordinary things I now complain about. I have had that thought in my heart these past few days and at work this past week I took a report involving physical abuse to a 2 year old boy. I met the child and his mother (Mother was not involved) at the hospital and the little boy was broken down. He had bruising all over his face and head and he had a fractured arm. It was heart wrenching to think that someone out there could do this to such a sweet innocent child. (These are the calls I dont talk about much and shield my emotions from my family, they hear all the fun stuff but these sad one happen every day too....) It made me think of my own angry reactions to things my 2 year old boy does and it humbled me to even think that the emotion of anger is ever directed toward him.

I feel like a change has occurred within me and I will never feel that anger toward him for his mischievous behavior again. When he pushes his sister or spits in my sister in laws hair or breaks the nintendo wii, I will remind myself that he is a treasure to me and that nothing he does should ever rob me of even a second of my life feeling anger toward him. Maybe disappointment at times but never anger. What a humiliating insight it was to realize that the emotion that caused that little boy to be beaten was the same emotion I have felt toward my son but without the restraint and the limits that I have. The realization that being angry and being angry and beating someone is only a difference of action made me feel horrible for ever being angry at Landon.
I love Landon and see him in a different light now. He is sweet and he is learning and he needs me to stand before him and teach him through my example. I am excited to continue growing by his side and will treasure the daily routine of cleaning up and following his every step while he walks through his terrible two's....

2010 begins

Well this is my first entry for 2010 and so much has happened already. We spent Christmas in Utah and New Years here in AZ at the Rojas house. It was great fun and I was able to take off all the time I needed since I was still a Spanish Rover at work. On Jan 4th however they got rid of the Spanish rover program and I am now back to normal patrol work working in Central in beat 34. I have enjoyed getting back into the swing of things and if feels good to participate more frequently in normal day to day calls with patrol. At the end of January early February I tested for a position as a Spanish speaking hostage negotiator but was unsuccessful in getting the job. I went up against some really qualified people but i am glad to have gotten the testing experience and may try again in the future if a position opens up.

This year has also started a new chapter of my career being a member of the honor guard. I have enjoyed getting all dressed up and representing law enforcement officers everywhere. I have had the opportunity to participate in a parade, a car show and a funeral already this year. I am tempted to try to learn how to play the bagpipes because they are so awesome and have a sound that really touches my spirit. We'll see if anything comes of that idea or not....

On Jan 28th at 10:45 pm while I was at home, not even a block away a Gilbert police Lieutenant made a traffic stop on a truck with two people in it. The passenger ended up shooting and killing the lieutenant and it ended with a fifty mile chase that resulted in the arrest of both people after they were shot in the legs during a gun battle. I have friends who were involved in the pursuit and it has caused a wide rang of emotions for me. First the fact that it happened to close to my house and on the border with Mesa makes me think how easily it could have been a mesa officer to be killed. Second, the killer and his accomplice didnt get killed in the ensuing gun fight... When all is said and done and I think this through I can only conclude that when its our time to go, we will go and God will administer perfect justice to all of us at the conclusion of our probation. I am glad that no other officers or civilians were hurt and I hope that we dont have to pass another experience like this for a long time!

Mark Kelly's Christmas surprise

Here is a video of my friend Mark Kelly and his family getting a BIG surprise from the Mesa Police Association. I am in the video talking to Mark and his wife while the kids are opening their surprises from the Blue Santa. I walked in and went to say hi and while talking to them realized what was going on and saw that there were news agencies and video cameras recording us. Haha it was fun.

Sunday Morning

Today is Sunday and we have spent our morning choosing songs from the ipod and playing them over the speakers in the living room to dance to. Olivia and Landon loved it and Landon was so funny to watch, like a little drunk 2 year old as he spun and spun in circles and then tried to recover from the spinning. Olivia loved dancing the princess songs (classical) and imagining she was dancing on a cloud.

We only have this Sunday and next one here at this house before we move. We are moving to baseline and valvista roads near my parents and closer to Noah and I am so excited to have a change again. This coming week I will be attending an Interview and Interrogation training all week so again I am happy for a little change. These past few weeks I have focused again on filling out the journal/fathers legacy and writting a few things I would want my family to know if I were to die unexpectedly. If feels good to have that in place even though its not fun to ponder the sad state we would all find ourselves in if that were to happen.

Its crazy how we come to this earth so full of hope and joy and we experience this amazing thing called mortality. Its such an important aspect of our eternal existence yet it is such a small amount of time when compared to eternity. Some poeple come to this world for days or hours and others for a whole century and more. Seems like we feel so obligated to try to make a strong footprint in the history of humanity that when we consider death we never feel ready, we havent left that footprint, we havent invented something amazing, or conquered foreign lands, or made millions, or been famous. What footprints will I have left if I were to die today? What is the single most important unit of society in which we will ever find ourselves? I contend that it is family and that if our footprints are not left within the family, then all the inventions, conquerings, money and fame amount to nothing. Footprints are made every time we spend quality time with our family. Bedtime stories, games, vacation, dancing, talking during breakfast, lunch or dinner. Conversations with your spouse as you lay in bed falling asleep, every laugh you share, every smile that is passed on. When we serve each other and put ourselves second we leave a footprint in time that will be remembered and talked about and brought up when we are gone.

These footprints help us feel like we have purpose and that no matter how short our mortality is we have made a difference, we have shared a part of ourselves with someone else who will take that memory and pass it on. Death will come to all of us one day and when it does it is so hard to not feel like we have been robbed of something we will never have again... But death is just a step, a movement in our forward progression and it is necessary to our eternal wellbeing and everlasting joy. I wish we created a culture where death was celebrated and we wore white instead of black. I wish we would play the songs that made that person jump for joy and would show pictures in a slideshow that celebrate the joy of mortality. Yes its sad to know we will not see the person again during mortality but its also that persons step into the eternal. Its a party on the other side with a reception of family and friends that have gone before and if we could get a glimpse of that scene, then our funerals would be much more happy than they are somber and sad. Death is not forever! The sorrow and pain and hopelessness are all symptoms of short sightedness. We must look up past the few short years and look to the horizon where years are not even measurable and an eternity awaits, of life much better than this, with joy that is so great, our sorrows and trials will be covered and forgotten.

Mark Fundraiser

Just got back from my squad camping trip yesterday and I had so much fun. Its great to spend time with my squad mates outside of work and get to know them on a more personal level. I have come to realize that almost without exception, people are amazing and you can grow to love them as you get to know them, regardless of first impressions. Not that any of them left bad first impressions its just a realization I solidified while camping among so many different types of characters. The first day I arrived it was just Kevin Gillis, Sergio Nieto and myself, we went on a fun quad ride at 9:00 pm through the mountain trails till about 11:00 pm. We saw a satellite in the air and enjoyed just being in the mountains on a quiet dark night. The next day we rode quads again for about 40 miles by the black river and the whole area. In the evening everyone else arrived: Troy Clevenger and his girlfriend Diana Vaughn and their two dogs, Doug Hurley and his brother Dustin Hurley and Jake Kempe and Todd Zoglman arrived together in two cars with two more dogs. Chris Colburn and his wife also arrived and Clint Atwood showed up with his camper trailer. I ended up sleeping in the camper trailer and showered every night.

We went fishing on Big Lake in a rented boat and shot guns and made a huge fire at night. The food was great, the company was great, and the surroundings were amazing. it rained on our last night but not enough to keep us from standing outside next to the huge fire and share a good conversation with all.

I left Saturday early without breakfast becuase I wanted to get home in time to go to Mark Kelly's fundraiser BBQ. I arrived at 11:30 and the whole family went to the fundraiser, Noah and Giselle and Rajko, my Mom and Dad and all of us where there and we were able to show support to the Kelly family. Mark Kelly is a great friend of mine whom I attribute to my becoming a police officer. We worked together at the University of Phoenix and now work together at the police department. Mark has been diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrigs disease and he is starting to deteriorate quickly. It started with his left hand and arm and now it it affecting his left foot and ankle. He has 4 cute little boys and an amazing wife who is being so supportive through out his trial. I have been able to go out to lunch with Mark and spend some time talking to him and I feel so blessed to have the privilege to be his friend and to know him. He is an amazing man who is dealing with this awful situation as nobly as one can. He always has a big smile and a hug for all. He has prompted me to re-assess my commitments in life and to prioritize things better. He tells me of the things he wishes to do and knows he will not be able to do and my heart just goes out for him.

Seems like we always look at death as this far away even that will not touch us until we have accomplished so many things or until we are ready for it somehow. I live my life just putting the thought of death at the very back of my mind because if I never give it the time of day as a thought, maybe it will never happen? Mark's situation has me thinking about death often now. I know that one day the inevitable encounter will occur and I wonder what will be said of me and what will be remembered? Some people have the privilege of living lives that influence our whole world such as George Washington, and others just get forgotten as if they never lived.... Who is more important in the eternal perspective however, Washington or the man that served in his army and gave his life so that the cause would not die? Today we are surrounded by countless people who live day in and day out serving their children, teaching them, instructing them and leading themselves and their families in honorable ways. Are they not greater than the entertainers we hear about so often? The new dress or the new scandal or the new breakup seems to get so much attention but in the eternal realm are not the silent servants the true heroes among us? They don't walk around with crowns and scepters, they walk around with diaper bags, books, and dreams. They wear shields on uniforms, scrubs, ties, and they are known to a few as daddy, mommy, brother, friend. These are the heroes my mind rests upon right now.

Do I want to accomplish great things in my professional life, yes I would love to however I will never feel I have failed if I am "only" a daddy or "only" a husband, brother or friend when all is said and done. Today I re-commit to the important and eternal lasting responsibilities and endeavors of my life. Today I tell my family that I love them and that I serve them, today I help a friend, I smile at a stranger and I contribute to the improvement of the society I live in. Today I join the millions of un-seen heroes who never aspire to the attention they deserve.

July 2009

Wow, Ive let too much time pass between posts again. I will cover some of the significant events that have happened but will probably miss a few in my attempt to not make each post so long. In Feb we went on a family vacation to California's Disney land with the kids. They loved it and it was Olivia's first exposure to the real princesses that live there. We met up with Clyda and Kylee there and got to see them for a little bit but mostly it was just the family having our vacation. While there we hooked up for one day with Tara and also with an old mission buddy of mine (Ben Katz).

In May Anissa and I went on an amazing vacation to London, Paris and Istanbul. We took over 900 pictures and absolutely loved it! We posted info about it on the family blog so I wont say much more than it was amazing. Also in May I turned 30 years old! Its crazy to imagine that I am finally 30 years old. I always thought 30 was getting a bit old but now that I'm there if feels so young still. I often think about all the things Jesus accomplished and everything we read about pretty much from his life comes from when he turned 30 to when he died at 33 years old. Thats makes me wonder what will be said of me when I die and what will I have accomplished that really matters? Now that I am thirty I want to prioritize my life a little better so that when I die, I have no regrets as to what I spent my time on....

In June we went on another family vacation to Texas: Matador, and Dallas. The first part of our trip was to attend the burial services of Anissa's great grandmother Elsie Thacker (Nanny). After spending 2 fun days with all the Hendrix clan we went to Dallas and got to spend a few more days with most of the hendrix clan as well as my family. I got to spend time with Uncle Joe and visit his resting home room. I pretty much got time to visit all my cousins and I really enjoyed seeing them all again. Truly there is nothing more important that the minutes and hours and days we can spend with family, strengthening each other and serving each other.

Now its July and at work we already had our yearly bid and I am going to stay working at Central as a Spanish rover one more year. Still enjoying it and looking forward to the unique opportunities I get to do more in depth investigations on. In the next couple of days I will be going on a squad campout with my current squad before we all disband from the bid. I am looking forward to some fun old camping and relaxation from the valley heat. We are going to the white mountains near big lake from Wednesday to Saturday.

Noah is currently waiting to hear on possible employment with Mesa PD also! He is just waiting to see how many they will hire once the federal stimulus money comes through... should know in September. Yesterday was Sunday and I left church early to go to work but instead of going to work I called in sick (I am sick with cold and cough symptoms) and used the 2 hours that she was still at church thinking I was at work, to clean the whole house. I organized things swept, mopped, and made the house feel clean as can be. She got home and was so surprised. It was worth watching her face. I guess these are the types of activities that will be remembered when I die. Must keep focusing on my priorities and what really matters when all is said and done.

Florence Prison run and more...

These past 2 weeks have been full of events. First of all I decided to quit my Master's degree program with American Military University. I was working toward a Masters in Intelligence Studies and have completed 12 credits when I all of a sudden felt like I didn't know why I was even working toward this degree. The more I pondered it the more it felt like it was pointless for now to be working on that degree just to do it. I determined to drop the courses and just wait an undetermined amount of time to continue with a Master's degree. A few days after dropping I learned that I can promote up to the level of Commander in the police department with the amount of schooling I already have and after that I need a Graduate degree with an emphasis in criminal justice. So if I ever decide to continue I will switch programs and make it worth it. I am really enjoying the freedom I feel from that decision, no stress and less grumpy Daddy!

We have solidified some major family trips in the past 2 weeks. we will be going to disneyland for 3 days 4 nights this month... This is our first family trip there with all the kids. I am so excited and the trip is practically already paid for. I cant wait to see the kids faces as we do all the fun things available at Disneyland. We are also going to spend some time at the beach making sand castles and flying kites. It will be great!

The other huge vacation we solidified is a trip to Europe. Anissa and I will be staying in London for a few days and then Istanbul and finally Paris. We are so excited and already have our flights and hotels all purchased and booked. We will be gone for 11 days with a one night stay in Toronto , Canada as well. I am soooo glad I dont have to be worrying about my school work during this trip any more!

Yesterday I got to do a ride along with the gang squad for an event called the Florence Prison Run. It was a great experience and I took a few pictures and video. There were hundreds of bikers and I'm sure it made the day for the people in prison to have a break from the monotony. I always feel bad to see how many people out there make choices that limit their freemdom. If only they had relationships with God that would steer them toward a better understanding of governance and self control.

Olivia is sitting here next to me eating spinach leaves and she has had 3 servings saying how much she loves "these leaves". So cute. This week I spoke to Uncle Frank, Dak and sent texts to my cousin Denise. I want to do better at staying in touch with long distance family for now on. Life is just to short to miss out on the benefit of family. Well I better start getting ready for the day. I am going to work and have spanish training for the next 2 days.

Here are some pictures of the Florence Prison Run and a picture than Noah took while I was returning from a SWAT call. I was driving the large armor vehicle back to its home station. When I drove past the prisoners lined up I got a pretty enthusiastic "Boooo" so I rolled my window down and stuck my hand out and did the "raise the roof" sign to them and the boooos became laughter.