Will I live through the day

June 15, 2003 started like all the other days I had spend in the Kuwaiti desert thus far. I was part of the 142 Military Intelligence Battalion and had been in one of the most northern camps in Kuwait for 2 months just waiting for a mission to take us across the border into Iraq. My Battalion was supposed to be in Turkey waiting to go south in to Iraq during the invasion but due to political pressure Turkey never allowed us to create a northern front. So hear I was in Kuwait without a mission and without a plan for what turned out to be 4 months.

The group I was with was part of the Utah National Guard and therefore had many latter day saints who were also retuned missionaries. Today was Sunday and we were congregated in a large tent for church services. I looked around and thought to my self “Not everyone can say they have been to church with a gun on their side.” After church I went back to my tent and started the monotonous routine of nothing to do all over again. After a few hours however one of our officers came by and stated he had found a mission for us to do, at least temporarily.

I reported to the officers’ tent and was informed that as of tomorrow morning we were going to start manning one of the security checkpoints into the camp. This meant that a group of soldiers would be selected each shift from all over the camp, and together would be responsible for checking vehicles coming into the base. “Oh Great” I thought to myself, we were not trained for such a task and every day we heard about car bombs going off and killing soldiers at these so called checkpoints.

To make matters worse I was told I would be the non-commissioned officer in charge of my group since I was the only sergeant of the group I was assigned to. So here we were about to carry out a task that none of us have been trained to do and the person in charge of making sure all goes well is me. I was scared and immediately started to say a prayer in my heart.

Through out the rest of the day I prayed frequently to overcome this feeling of great fear that began to swell inside of me. I kept thinking to myself that all would be ok and that I was only feeling scared because this was something I have never done. I prayed to have the Lord bring a feeling of peace to my soul and to assure me that it would be ok. As the day went on I began to feel more and more anxious that this answer to prayer was not coming.

At night I intensified my prayers and though about my family and future and dreams I wanted to carry out. I thought to myself, “this cant be I surely will not be harmed or die yet, the Lord will not allow it; I am not ready!” All night I agonized and cried out for a confirmation of peace, just a simple feeling of “it will be ok”. To my great surprise I did not get that feeling and I finally began to understand that maybe it was meant to be and just maybe, this was my time to end mortality.

I pondered that thought for a few hours and thought about what it would be like for my family to learn that I was killed in a car bomb explosion. I tried to imagine what my funeral would be like with military honors and all. I thought my mom would be a bit angry receiving an American flag as if that can replace her son and then I wondered if they would eventually be ok with my death being at the service of my country. I thought about my twin brother and wondered what life without me would be like for him. The bond between twins is very strong and my brother and I are among the strongest bond there can probably be. I wondered if he would feel the moment of my death even though we were separated by thousands of miles.

Finally morning came and I realized I had not slept all night. I had made it through the darkest hours and began to feel that maybe the sun would lift my spirits. I got up just before the sun rose and completed my preparation. I walked out of my tent and had about a half mile walk through the desert to reach the southern most entrance to the camp where I would be in charge of security for the next 10 hours. As I walked I prayed again hoping for one last chance to get a feeling of peace and confirmation that all would be ok. As I arrived at the check point I thought to my self “you know; its not that bad, I have lived a good life and I have loved everyone I have ever met. If today is my day to die, then let me die and meet my maker in high spirits.” At this very thought I had a sudden profound feeling come over me that at this very point in my life things were ok and, if I did die I would not stand ashamed in front of my Savior.

It was like having a very real lifting of weight off my shoulders and all of a sudden I began to cry. I got my answer; a warm feeling of peace came over me and I could almost hear a small whisper saying, “It will be ok.” I realized that the answer to my prayer was not “You will be safe”, it was “If anything happens today, if today is the day you die, its all ok.” So there I stood, alone in the desert, not far from the very place prophets of old had once stood and I experienced a very real and very profound personal revelation. The Lord had finally opened my mind and helped me understand that he did not promise me safety from being harmed or even killed in the next 10 hours but he did promise me that if such a thing happened, it was all ok, I was in good standing with him and I could stand proud before him. That was more comforting than I could have ever imagined.

I squared my shoulders and looked at the security checkpoint and at that moment I decided I would work hard today and endeavor to serve my men and help them carry out their mission for the day with safety and care. Never had I felt so good and confident and yet so sure that most likely something bad was about to happen and I might not live through the day. Fortunately we made it through the day without incident. We did have a scary moment that required aiming our guns and yelling at a driver to get back into his vehicle, but no explosions and no harm.

Four years have past since that day and still I remember the lesson the Lord taught me. He didn’t make me confident by saying I would be safe and out of harms way, he made me confident by teaching me that one-day we will surely die and the important thing is to be ready by being worthy. Luckily that day has not come yet, but I know it will one day and when it does it doesn’t matter how it happens or what I was doing, all that matters is that I’m ready. That day in the desert, I was, and the confidence and peace that knowledge gave me, was a thousand times better than just knowing I would be safe.

Video of Kevin and I in Kuwait

New Car

I purchased a 2000 oldsmobile intrigue today and I feel I did good with the price and all. This car was first listed on craigslist at 3000 dollars. The seller then went down to 2200 and the day I called to go see the car he discovered the ac was not working and would have to be replaced so he told me he would sell it for 1500 dollars.

Today I went with a mechanic who checked everything out and we discovered that the ac does work it just takes long to charge due to a loose "humming valve" (I think thats what he called it). Anyhow this thing causes the belt to have less strength to charge the ac which already needed charging so it made it look like the ac didnt work when really it does.

So long story short I bought a car valued by kelly blue book at 3000 dollars for only 1500 dollars because the ac didnt work which really it does..... I will probably put in another 300 bucks in mechanic work but over all I got a great deal. This car looks very clean and well maintained and I am a million times happier with it than I was with the 800 dollar car I bought last week!

It is hard to find acceptable cars when your budget is around 2000 bucks!

Car Sold!

So for those who do not know.... I sold the 800 dollar car today. Turns out it did not pass emissions and the passenger side seat is not even bolted down to the car so in the interest of family safety I decided to just get a better car. Before doing this however I did return to the lady that sold the car to me and I had her give me back $200 dollars due to the lack of information she provided me when I bought it and luckily she did not hesitate.... So today I sold my now 600 dollar car to another girl for 800 dollars.

I told this new buyer everything about the car and she had a mechanic look at it before making her decision so I feel good that I was honest and forthcoming about the car and she still wanted it. Now I have 800 bucks to start looking for another car which I will probably finance so that its a nicer car and family friendly.

I place a picture once I decide what I'm getting!

800 dollar car, Hooray......?

Yesterday I sold my Mitsubishi Montero Sport and I found myself having to get a car quickly. I searched and searched and wanted to buy something cheaper than $2000 so that I can get carpet for the house, and I must say.... cars under 2000 are mostly crap!
I have always had cars that I liked and felt matched my personality but now I am having to just settle with any car and its a bit hard! I found a car today and went a head and bought it because I felt it was a great deal. It was a lady from my ward (church) that needed some money and was selling her niece's car and gave me a great deal on it.
So I got a 1994 Saturn LS1 with 135000 miles on it for just 800 bucks. Its stick shift and seems to run just fine with ac and all. The inside has a few cosmetic needs but I guess you get what you pay for!
I keep telling myself that all I need in a car is reliable transportation to and from work. So I guess it meets those needs....
One day when I am more established and have more money to put on a vehicle I am going to spoil myself for being willing to drive this car thats not to bad but really does NOT feel like me at all.

So here's the picture what do you guys think? Can you picture me driving this car....? I guess its a lesson on humility and not judging others for the cars they drive!

Transitional duty is over!

Well I completed a whole week of sitting at a desk and doing data entry! I thought I was going to die of boredom and monotony. Now that I work as a police officer I have become spoiled to work being fun and exciting. I go out and see all kinds of crazy things and go here and do this or that and go there and see crazy people and drunkards and criminals and accidents and then all of a sudden I am at a desk doing data entry all day for a week and it was like going into withdrawals from a drug..... I am so excited to start normal routine work again this coming week. Time goes by real fast when you are responding to calls for service all day.

This weekend I am going to try to get my car sold and get myself a smaller cheaper car. The goal is to make some money from the difference in cars and use that money to put carpet in our bedroom. We'll see how that goes.



The picture I posted is of a car crash I went to last week where the driver lost control of the vehicle and slammed into the poll injuring himself . He broke both legs and had pieces of one leg stuck on the metal of the car. The fire department arrived and had to use the jaws of life to get him out.... after a little investigation I discovered a marijuana pipe in the side pocket of the door thats leaning on the pole.... another officer went to the hospital and after reading him his rights we obtained some blood to charge him with DUI. Luckily he crashed into a pole and not another car. Who say's marijuana does not impair!

Horray!

Today at 7:00 pm I will have my family back! I am so excited to have them, its amazing how incomplete I feel without Anissa around and it makes me feel like there is a bit less importance to what I do through out the day. I love having a purpose and duty to come home and be a husband and father and balance work with rest and spend time doing my part. The last few days I have not felt that and I feel like its hard to feel as happy or satisfied without that extra duty.
Today I took Olivia to the mall so she could ride the pink horse she has learned to love (thanks to Abuelita and Papi). I posted a few pictures of it on the family blog, she is so cute and I love knowing she is my daughter and I get to raise her and teach her and provide for her.

Here is another picture of her actually riding the horse.

This coming week (Tuesday to Friday) I will be working with the secretaries at the central substation to give me some transitional duty from patrolling while I heal from the nose surgery. We'll see how that goes but I'm looking forward to getting back to work after that. Work is fun and time goes by fast. I plan on starting at least one shift of overtime each week to help raise some money for debt re-payment, toys and vacation expenses. I'll keep you informed as to the actual realization of that goal.

What I feel like

Well its been a whole 8 hours since mom and dad left and I am all alone watching Olivia. I am sitting here wishing my whole family was back from Texas and as I sat here I had a though....
My new Mac has a built in video/camera and I remembered I can take a picture of myself with it to show you guys what I feel like right now during the nose surgery recovery.
As you can see in the picture my nose is still a bit crooked but in a few days it should be all clear and well worth the congestion I feel right now.
Anyhow this picture is to show you exactly how I feel right now....... well maybe I feel a little worse that it looks... you know pictures just dont do it justice sometimes!

Journal Transition

This is the first entry into the new journal format I will be using. Hopefully this will encourage me to write more about my life and thoughts. 

Right now Anissa and Robyn and Landon are in Texas celebrating Anissa's Grandmother Bonnie's 90th Birthday. My mom and dad have been staying here for the past few days to help me watch Olivia and to help me recover from my nose surgery (nasal Septoplasty). Anissa gets here on Monday and I'm looking forward to having her home again. 

I am trying to get everything lined up to start a masters degree in history on November 5th. I'm kind of nervous about the time requirements of being a student again but I think in the long run this will be well worth it. I love history and it will be great to have a masters degree to possibly teach in the future. 

Well... I look forward to writing more later... until next time thanks for taking the time to read and to get to know me and my life a bit more. 

Answer to the Poll

Time to find out the answer to my poll question. The question was "True or False: When I lived in Bolivia... did I ever eat a snake?"

Well are you ready.... (drum roll)......the answer is .... (drum roll again)........ Big Fat NOOOOOOOOOO! Although it seems likely that I would be given the opportunity to eat such a beast in that far removed place in the world, I would never ever...ever.... take it. I hate snakes and hesitate to even touch such a foul thing. I cant even imagine what it would be like to place a piece of snake in my mouth.

Well now you know a little bit more about me. I hate snakes and have not ever eaten one. Stay tuned for the next poll question.

Answer the Question each week...

Each week you can answer the poll question at the bottom of the blog to see how well you know me. If you get it right you will gain my trust and improve our friendship, If you get it wrong you will learn more about me and lose the opportunity to ever be my friend again... good luck!

Common Sense

So a call comes out....

"1a53 (thats me), we have a camper on fire at Main and Stapley. Unknown if the
trailer has occupants."

I turn on my lights and sirens and speed my way over to the incident... As I arrive dispatch tells me there are no occupants in the trailer...

My training officer turns and says...

"ok Nik, what steps do you need to take on this type of call...?"

I answer back....

"well first thing to do is take a picture!"

That of course is the correct answer! After taking the picture I blocked traffic and created a safe area for fire trucks to arrive and extinguish the fire. Remember... its 3:00 in the morning so I have some slack to play with... plus its not like I was going to slow down the fire or save the trailer without the fire department. My trainer likes the mentality.

Tales From the Crypt.....

On June 20th I was dispatched to a call at a trailer park regarding a possible residential burglary, the call was delayed so I arrived just before midnight.

I knocked and waited at the door of an old trailer home without any street lights in the area. It was dark and kind of creepy imagining all the movies I have seen where bad things happen in those settings. Eventually the door creeped open and with all the lights still off I saw a hand emerge slowly but surely from the darkness... the hand was trembling as it came out into the dim moonlight outside. I turned on my flashlight and stepped into the doorway anticipating an old person (observation of the hand) and what I saw was what you see in the picture. A 100 year plus looking old man who looked just like he awoke from the dead. His eyes appeared to have several weeks worth buildup of sleeping dust and he hunched over and made slow deliberate moves like the zombies we all know from movies. He smelled of urine and BO and stood there at the door in the darkness of his home in only his underwear.

After all was said and done and I had completed my investigation of his claims (supposedly he was robbed at gunpoint by two girls ages 15 and 5) I determined he was a crazy old man that had no truth to his story. In order to determine this I ended up waking up (remember its past midnight at this point) two other neighbors.

The third trailer home I went into, to get the last piece of the puzzle I was investigating, took me to a trailer that had a 5 yr old boy and 10 yr old girl come to the door wide awake. I asked them if they were always awake so late on a week night... they said yes and told me their aunt was home and awake as well. I asked to speak to her and they told me I would have to come in because she couldn't walk. So I entered the trailer home and made my way to the back where there was a single room with a bed in the middle and on the bed was a very large woman who could not get up due to her extremely big size and the smallness of the trailer home. She helped me positively determine the craziness of the old man and she helped contribute to fun of that call.

Mesa Oh Mesa....

Well after working two months on the streets of Mesa, I decided it would be fun to start sharing some of the stories I live through while having a place to save journal entries at the same time. The people I have met and the craziness I have seen can be represented by the picture attached to this post.... All I can say is the people on Jerry Springer are real and they are going to be fun to write about!

Enjoy the stories and feel free to comment and advise of anything I can add to this site.